29 Dimensions of Love
There's something out there called eHarmony, which is really a dating service. The reason this particular agency stuck in my mind is that they claim their success is due to scientific research and matching people based on 29 dimensions of love. They even provide all sorts of scientific evidence to prove their point, all sorts of numbers and graphs, but really, unless you're a research scientist familiar with the particular studies they cite, this information is all but useless. I'm not saying the data is wrong, just that it doesn't mean very much to a lay person.
An important question, however, is whether love really has only 29 dimensions? I heard somewhere on TV a while ago that if a man(or, for that matter, a woman) can't definitely say why they love their partner, then it's not really love, and they're just deluding themselves. It was a woman that said this, which struck me a bit odd. Is love something you really want to analyze scientifically?
Why do you love someone? Internally, you may know, but is it something you want to, or are even able to, air out in public? Isn't the discovery process the point of love? What happens if you know everything up front? “OK, so we matched on these ten dimensions, but not on the other eighteen. Too bad, so sad.” Nothing I've seen out there convinces me that love and matches can be quantified and scientifically broken into concrete, perfectly fitting pieces. Of course, don't take my word for it: my success rate with women has been abysmal, to say the least, so really, what do I know?
Technorati Tags: eHarmony / 29 Dimensions / Love
posted by The Mad Perseid at 12:59 AM
3 Comments:
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Excellent post and your thoughts on the subject. Coincidentally, Mr Doris and I met through online dating and we are more than happily married. Ask me to define the love I have for him and I won't stop but ask him and he goes to mush and becomes illiterate. Maybe it is a male/female difference?
Whether there are 29 dimensions and whether it works depends on both parties being honest and open and self-aware.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one hung up on the 29 dimensions part of the eHarmony commercials.
Maybe we should worry about the 42 dimensions of getting along with your parents, the 11 dimensions of choosing a well-suited pet, and the 7 dimensions of being a highly successful person. Wait, Covey already wrote that book.
In short, I think it's all BS. Besides, getting to know a person (and his/her dimensions) through slowly unveiling stories and sharing experiences is part of the magic of falling in love.
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