This is my personal thoughts, opinions and musings place. I will also rant about things, especially politically-correct things that irritate me. And sci-fi. Did I mention sci-fi? There'll be lots of sci-fi stuff here. And movies, too. Mmmmm... Movies

Friday, June 03, 2005

It's a sad, sad world!

Today at lunch I overheard a couple of young guys seriously discussing the ins and outs of the child-support system. “If you do this, they'll claim that” and “She can sue you for more if you seem to live beyond your means” sort of discussion. And I found that to be very sad. These two guys couldn't have been much more than 20yo at most, and now they're saddled with this nonsense for twenty or more years. That kids, especially young men, allow themselves to be put into these kinds of situations is a story that always fails to rear its ugly head in public discourse. The government doesn't help, either, but encouraging both sides to not seek any kind of reconciliation.

God help either of the two guys should they miss one payment; they'll be branded Dead Beat Dadstm forever, and that'll be the end of them. The way they seemed to talk about it didn't suggest to me that they were looking for ways to avoid payments, they were merely discussing strategies for not getting stomped on by the system, which seems to do a lot of stomping. I think the following rules would help.

  1. Every child born must be DNA tested against the husband in the marriage - strike down presumption of paternity - Lenin may have been an idiot, but he did have one good idea: “Trust, but verify”
  2. For children born outside of a marriage, the child must be DNA tested against the first man named as the father - take nobody's word for it
  3. If the first man named is determined to not be the father, no other man is to be named or tested and the one you named cannot be held liable for anything - if you have to guess the identity of the father of your child, learn to raise the child on your own
  4. If the man named is positively determined to be the father and assuming the two don't want to get married, the maximum the non-custodial parent(in most cases the man) should be made to pay is the minimum state required to keep the children(not the other parent) from starving. In other words, the most anyone not actively living with the children should be made to pay is what married parents are required to provide.
  5. Paternity should be claimed at birth - if the man happens to be poor when you have a child by him, don't leave him not knowing that he has children until twenty years later when he's made his fortune and then suddenly you rear your skanky head out of the dim mists of time demanding back child support - if living with him through the trials and tribulations of being poor wasn't good enough for you and your babies, then leave his newly-earned fortune alone, you skanky ho.

Rules for men:
  1. Learn to protect yourself at all times - don't spread your DNA around like cheap champagne after a successful car race - your DNA is worth your weight in gold - literally
  2. Stop donating to sperm banks - that fifty bucks you get for your DNA can cost you a lifetime of child support payments
  3. Don't give sperm so your lesbian friend and her “life partner” can have a “baby” - lesbian relationships are no more stable than hetero ones, and when they break up, the one that keeps the baby will come to you for child support payments
  4. Learn to be an adult - have a discriminating taste in women
  5. Learn to keep it in your pants - it's a fun activity to be sure, but not an essential one

Rules for women:
  1. Learn to be discriminating in your choice of nighttime partners
  2. Decades ago, entire platoons of small-cup bras went to their fiery deaths so you could enjoy the benefits of birth control products - don't let their sacrifice be in vain - learn to demand protection for him, and for you
  3. Learn to be an adult - an unexpected baby won't make him want to marry you, especially if you've been telling him you're on the pill!
  4. Learn to tell when you're lying to yourself about not really wanting a baby
  5. Learn to keep your legs closed - it's a fun activity to be sure, but not an essential one


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