This is my personal thoughts, opinions and musings place. I will also rant about things, especially politically-correct things that irritate me. And sci-fi. Did I mention sci-fi? There'll be lots of sci-fi stuff here. And movies, too. Mmmmm... Movies

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Old Russian jokes

A famous Soviet commedian once came out on stage, his hands full of bags filled with fruits, vegetables, meats and other such items. He stood for several minutes like that, saying nothing. The crowd began to murmur and giggle. Finally he said, “I'm quiet because I have everything. Why are you quiet?”

Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev are riding in a train. Suddenly, the train tracks come to an end and the train stops. Stalin says, “Let's shoot the engineers for standing in the way of progress.” Khrushchev says, “Comrades, let's all get together and build new tracks so our great train can move forward.” Brezhnev says, “Let's just rock the train car from side to side to make it seem like we're going somewhere.”

One day, the Soviet secret police got a tip that a Jew was hoarding gold in his barn. In those days, being Jewish or having gold was bad enough, but if you were Jewish and hiding gold, well, that'd just go beyond the pale in no time. So the secret police descended on the hapless Jew's barn, tore it all to shreds and chopped up all his wood, hoping to locate his stash. They didn't find any, of course, and left dissapointed. His neighbour came to see what all the commotion was(after the secret police had left, of course) and asked if they'd found his gold. “Nah,” he replied, “but they sure chopped up a lot of firewood for me.”


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