This is my personal thoughts, opinions and musings place. I will also rant about things, especially politically-correct things that irritate me. And sci-fi. Did I mention sci-fi? There'll be lots of sci-fi stuff here. And movies, too. Mmmmm... Movies

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

What I hate about you, Continued 1

Alright. On with the show, so to speak.

In the re-imagined BSG, humans created the Cylons to be... servants? slaves? Doesn't matter. Cylons rebelled and started a war, the humans fought back, and the Cylons left. So what was the point of that? Nobody knows. Where have the Cylons gone? Well, no one knows that either. There's a station out somewhere in space where the humans send a representative every once in a while, but the Cylons never show up. Think of it as a neutral location that one side completely ignores.

They ignore it right up until they decide to wipe the humans out. This poor shmuck is sitting aboard the station, waiting for a Cylon, any Cylon, to show up when in walks a sexy babe and proceeds to French-kiss him. That's when things get really hot and the station gets blown up. In the words of another reviewer whose name or URL I can't remember at the moment, “because nothing says 2003 like a sexy suicide bomber”.

In the Colonies, things are still normal. The Galactica is being decomissioned, it is obsolete, and so is its commander who is retiring. The Galactica has not networked computers and apparently no wireless intraship communications. You want to talk to somebody on the other side of the ship, you pick up a phone. This is all because the Cylons can get in and out of any computer network, no matter how secured, so a warship like the Galactica would have none of those weak spots.

Doctor Baltar is having an affair with a hot babe who looks suspiciously like the hot babe who just suicide-bombed the french-kissing shmuck. She then goes out and kills a baby for no particular reason. OK, now we know she's a Cylon and she's evil. We also now know that Cylons look like us now, which should provide some excitement in the show. Now, the premise for the affair between Dr. Baltar and the hot Cylon babe is that he has created a navigation program that'll get downloaded into every warship mainframe and the Cylons want it for their own purposes. What happened to not having networked computers aboard warships? I don't know, and the first half of the mini-series isn't even over yet.

And here it comes. The Cylons take control of the program and shut down every warship the colonies have, battlestars and fighters both. They then systematically nuke every Colonial planet. The Galactica also has the program installed but never activated for a reason I can't remember at the moment. It also has a mixture of old and new fighters, the new fighters having the program installed and running, get wiped out.

The Galactica then forms up with the surviving human ships and leave the system forever, in search of Earth, their ancestral home. Which is just a legend, it doesn't really exist, not even the Commander believes in it, it's just used as a focus point for the crew. Boy, are they ever in for a surprise.

The Colonials are not a particularly spiritual people; they don't seem to have any Gods but the Lords of Kobol and some weird Priestess or something. In actuality, I'm not even sure how much the believe in the Lords. They have our names, Laura and Kara and Lee William and all the rest. The names Starbuck and Apollo and the like are just fighter pilot callsigns. Hell, they even have cancer, or all things. They never of course swear normally, but use all the terms from the old show.

Now, the Cylons have been busy little beavers during the time when they made the humans feel they were safe. They upgraded themselves, both their battle droid type monstrocities and their human interface units(I like that, I think I'll keep it). Which is funny in itself since they really hate the humans. And they've discovered religion. They think God decided to give souls to a new race, themselves. How convinient, just in time to wipe out the humans. He's good that way, that God; probably a Lord of Kobol.

They're also masters of extreme irony. After the humans escape, the human interface units hold a big meeting where it's decided to hunt the survivers down and destroy them because if they don't, the humans will one day come back and seek revenge for what had been done to them. “It's in their nature,” says one of the Cylons.

Well, no Duh! You just wiped out their civilization because you were miffed over your perceived role in their society; you built up your numbers, you upgraded yourselves, and for what? Not so you could give members of your race a decent life, but only so they can go back and nuke an entire civilization, a civilization that by the way gave them life in the first place. You were away from the humans for decades, and even that time didn't quench your thirst for their blood.

What, you may wonder, my problem with this show is. Read the next installment to find out.

3 Comments:

At Tue Mar 15, 03:42:00 PM AST, Blogger Exeter said...

the problem is... Starbuck is a chick? That's the one I just can't seem to get past myself :)

 
At Tue Mar 15, 06:52:00 PM AST, Blogger Miranda said...

Well, as I've said before, I couldn't get into the New BSG because of all the different changes. One of the guys being a girl was tolerable to me, but Boomer and Starbuck was a little much and then making Boomer a cylon too just added to it. If I could have done it for anyone, it would have been Edward James Olmos (or is that James Edward - blast that dyslexia). He's a fave and a very good actor. Perhaps he'll have a part in the new Miami Vice movie??

 
At Tue Mar 15, 08:30:00 PM AST, Anonymous Realmspace said...

Dr. Baltar has to be the most unbelievable of the bunch, and no one seems to notice his strange behaviour even when they are in the same room as him, whats up with that!

 

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